Merry Christmas, Rabbi!
Moving from Philadelphia to southwest Florida involved some Jewish culture shock. From the difficulty in getting kosher meat to Barnes & Noble being the best (read only) Jewish bookstore in town, it was a different world. Some of those changes were expected. Others were not.
For example, Jewish rabbis. Certainly in Philadelphia, all the rabbis I knew were Jewish. What could be more obvious than a rabbi being Jewish? But the Jewishness of Philadelphia area rabbis went unstated. Not in southwest Florida. There, non-Jews always introduced me to other non-Jews as "a Jewish rabbi." I am not complaining, mocking them, or taking offense in any way. I am simply pointing out a difference between the two cultures. Perhaps the term was not so redundant. There were several "messianic Jews" who called themselves rabbis in southwest Florida. Maybe it was a good thing I was acknowledged as an authentic, Jewish rabbi.
Many friends of mine were not familiar with the word synagogue, so they would ask me how things were going at the church. Truth be told, that did not bother me any more than synagogues being called temples, which is a pet peeve of mine.
I do have to admit that one thing I found very surprising was when I was wished a Merry Christmas by people who knew that I am a Jewish rabbi. There is probably not a Jew in America who has not been wished a Merry Christmas, but I think very few have heard the words, "Merry Christmas, Rabbi!"
How does one respond to that? My response of choice was, "Thanks! Merry Christmas to you, too!" I know that some Jewish people will not like how I responded. Some would say I should have politely indicated that I do not celebrate Christmas. Others would be more confrontational and claim that they would have said "Happy Chanukah" in response. I have some strong feelings about Jews inadvertently being wished a Merry Christmas. I am going to share them below, and I invite your comments and opinions.
Eighty-three percent of Americans identify themselves as Christians. If you play the odds and wish random Americans a Merry Christmas, chances are 83% that you'll be talking to someone who does celebrate Christmas. I have no desire for my non-Christianity to dampen the holiday spirit for that eighty-three percent. I have no problem playing a Christmas concert with the Zionsville Concert Band, even if there is no Chanukah music on the program (which, in fact, there was). I don't want Wal-Mart to instruct their greeters to say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas so as not to offend my fellow non-Christians and me. Governor Chaffee in Rhode Island does not need to pretend the state Christmas tree is merely a holiday tree for my sake. In fact, as a religious Jew with more in common with religious Christians than with secular Jews, I am all for putting more Christ back in Christmas, despite the fact that it has absolutely nothing to do with my own Jewish theological beliefs.
I know many Jews could not disagree more with me. I have a theory as to why that is so. I urge you to respond with your evaluation of the Sendrow Doctrine.
The Sendrow Doctrine states that one's displeasure at being wished Merry Christmas is in inverse proportion to the richness of one's Jewish life. In other words, the richer your Jewish life, the less it bothers you if someone—gasp—wishes you a Merry Christmas. You understand it is well intentioned act of friendliness that applies to the vast majority of Americans. But if your life has little or no Jewish content, your primary identification with Judaism is that you are not a Christian. Therefore, when wished a Merry Christmas, a blow has been struck at the very core of your Jewishness: your non-Christianess. No wonder that someone feels the need to assert that he does not celebrate Christmas, thank you very much.
I do not want the Jewish community specifically nor the non-Christian community in general to trump the 83% of Americans who celebrate Christmas. I want more of America's Judeo-Christian heritage to be part of the fabric of our society, not less. Yes, that means that Jews, Muslims, and other non-Christians will sometimes be subjected to a Merry Christmas wish. With regard to that, I have one question: so what?
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Until next time, Shalom!
Posted by Rabbi Benjamin Sendrow at 12/26/2011 10:53 PM 
Categories: Contemporary Issues, Issues Of Our Times
Tags: Christmas Chanukah Sendrow Doctrine
Categories: Contemporary Issues, Issues Of Our Times
Tags: Christmas Chanukah Sendrow Doctrine
Anent: 'Merry Christmas Rabbi'
Many years ago, my dad was hospitilized
in the Catholic hospital where I worked. Shortly after his admission I was called by a nun-supervisor who asked if he would want the crucifix statuette removed from the wall above his bed.
A language barrier precluded her asking him directly.
When I asked him, his reply was "What does this statue mean to you?"
I answered,"Well, really nothing."
"So am I different?" he responded. "This is not my home. Leave it be."
And so it was.
Jack Kamen
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Thanks for the story, it was uplifting!
Willaine
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Ben: I just read your blog and could not agree with you more. Individuals who struggle with our faith get bent out of shape with holiday salutations from Christians, even when these individuals tout support for Israel. Now, I do sometimes get a bit uncomfortable if I sense that their motives are not pure or they have a hidden agenda. I recognize that my faith is deeply rooted and no one can alter that.
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Rabbi: I agree with your doctrine. The more active I become in my Jewish life and surround myself with Jewish people living Jewish lives-the less threatened I feel around non-Jews. My mom used to say that as long as I know who I am and understand my beliefs than I can stand up against attacks on my faith. She was a firm believer in establishing a strong home foundation. I only pray that I could do such a good job with my kids.
Its interesting that the more you debate with non Jews about why you don't celebrate Christmas or believe in Jesus...the more they try to take you out to lunch and "talk" to you. They never stop calling!
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Recently, I returned from a trip from Bhutan - a small Buddhist country in the Himalayas.
Toward the end of the trip, they asked what I do during Christmas, and told them that I usually get together with Jewish friends for Chinese food and a movie - because those tended to be the only places that were open on Christmas. (Yes, they already knew that I was Jewish by that time.)
They responded that most people in Bhutan still celebrate Christmas. No, they don't believe that Jesus Christ has any religious significance. But they'll use it as an excuse to take the day off with their families or party with their friends.
Maybe this proves the Rabbi's point?
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Hello all,
Yes Rabbi, I especially agree about the 17% of us in this country who are not Christian and do not celebrate Christmas! Why make others unhappy? I much rather go around downtown with people who have a and do not celebrate Christmas! Why make others unhappy? I much rather go around downtown with people who have a bounce in their step than someone holding an AK-47 and wor and worse yet, pointing it at me!
Oh, about those people with the AK-47… (okay, here comes the professor in me )
No, I am not going to tell you how guns don’t kill people-people do or it’s all drugs.
What I’m going to spout forth is that it’s not the depressed economy or lack of money that causes people to become violent… it’s lack of Values!
Think about it a moment. I do not believe in killing things IE, I value life. Therefore, I would not kill a bug let alone a person!(however I am adamantly pro-choice. Ask me how I get out of that one !) Back to the subject… Rabbi, do Jews, Christians and everyone else (without an AK-47) have the same values?
Yes, I too put a pm copyright 2010 on everything.
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One other little thing:
What's so wrong with "Happy Holidays?" If I understand, wasn't it originally a way to say, "Have a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year" with about 7 fewer words? And why would I object to someone wishing me happiness for any non-morally reprehensible reason?
I worry more about the folks who don't wish me happiness.
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Ben, I thought you probably had a great sense of self & I was right. The "Merry Christmas, Rabbi" crack is a riot. May the god of all things bless you...
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